What is Family?

A friend of mine recently asked the question: What is family? My answer to her was "a group of people held together by bonds of love and affection." However, I think there are many answers to this question.

There is the obvious, the family you were born into. There is Mom, Dad, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.... We don't get to choose these people, they have been given to us by God (as stated by another friend of mine).

Then there is the family we build. The spouse we choose and the children we create. Blessings given by God.

Then there are the in laws. The family you marry into, given to us by God as well. There are also the in laws that marry into your family.

I also believe there is the family you create. Your close friends. Those that you have formed "bonds of love and affection" with. That small group of people you trust completely.
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As children growing up, our only thought of family is our Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters. It is what we know. If you are fortunate enough to live close to Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins then they will come to mind too. We rely on these people for everything and trust them implicitly while loving them unconditionally. I remember fighting with my brother all the time when we were kids. And some of our arguments even drew blood! But, no matter what I always trusted my brother. Even when he drew blood, it was accidental. He would never hurt me on purpose. My sister is 8 years younger than me. I remember her following me around and trying to embarrass me with crazy hair, or dressing identical to me. Turns out, we just happen to have a very similar sense of style. But, back then it drove me insane. As we have gotten older, we have gotten closer. 8 years isn't much of a difference anymore. I trust her implicitly, with my life and all of my secrets :) My parents have always been there for me. No matter what, even when they have disagreed with my choices. Unconditional love. The first family God gave to me.

Next comes the family we create for ourselves. The spouse we fall madly, deeply in love with. And the children created from that love. This becomes the first thing you think of when you hear the word family. A family created in love, unconditional love. I was lucky enough to meet my husband 13 years ago. We have been through a lot, and continue to grow closer and closer as the years go on. I can't imagine my world without him in it! We were blessed with two children. Two children whom we adore, and are so grateful to have the privilege of raising.

Of course, with the spouse comes their family. Through the bonds of matrimony, they become our family. My husband has a large family, a family that is very close. Growing up, I didn't have any cousins around to play with. We lived in Texas, and most of my cousins lived in Arizona. (And i have a lot of cousins :) Mom comes from a large family as well.) I remember going to visit a few times, and longing to have them closer by. I haven't seen my cousins in around 15 years. But, thanks to modern technology, I can now talk with them on a daily basis. My children are fortunate enough to have their many Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins from both sides of the family nearby. There are always ups and downs with a large family. But, I consider us blessed to have so many people in our lives that care about us and love us unconditionally.

Then there is the family we create, and there may be more than one. I am fortunate enough to have a couple of wonderful ladies that I consider my family. Friends who know all there is to know about me, the good and the bad. Friends I trust implicitly. Friends who I may not see or talk to everyday, but are always there for me. These ladies are my family "through bonds of love and affection."

There is also the family created around a common interest. I have my dojo family. These are the friends I have met through taking Martial Arts classes. These are the friends who encourage one another every step of the way, who never judge, and care about each other as individuals as well as classmates. I am still getting to know many of the people at the dojo, but I love every one of them. I went into my very first class feeling awkward and embarrassed. I left that very same class feeling encouraged and supported. And continue to feel that way today.

(If you are ever interested in Martial Arts classes in the Frisco area, I highly recommend Premier Martial Arts - Frisco/Little Elm)

There are many definitions to the word family. We can't always choose them, we don't always get along with them, but they are always around. I do believe that in order to be family, there has to be a mutual "bond of love and affection." There are many forms of love. The love I have for my sister is different from the love I have for my husband which is different from the love I have for my friends.

I consider myself extremely blessed. I hope you do too!