12 years ago today.....

12 years ago today......I was super excited and absolutely terrified. My life was about to change forever! Andy made me a mother for the very first time :)

I was scheduled for an induction. Andy measured as a 9 pound baby. The Dr. said that based on his size, it was time for his arrival into our world. The morning of April 6th, I arrived at the hospital a nervous wreck! They started the medicine to put me into labor. I couldn't even feel the contractions yet, but there was a problem. My Mom saw it happening on the monitors. Andy's heart rate was dropping. The first time it happened, it wasn't so bad. The second time, the room suddenly filled up with various people doing different things to get his heart rate back up. I was given 2 choices: we could walk down to the operating room and do an emergency c-section right then, or we could try the meds again possibly have to run down to the operating room. I chose to walk. Andy was born a short time later via emergency c-section. He came out perfect. I know every parent says that, but he really did! 10 fingers, 10 toes, perfectly round head, and an adorable face. The nurses all thought he was absolutely adorable! He was also 6 lbs 1 oz. I call him my miracle baby. I couldn't even feel the contractions when he went into distress. Had things not worked out the way they did, he may have died before I even knew he was ready to enter the world.

Andy was a great baby! We used to call him Dennis the Menace when he was a toddler. He looked just like Dennis the Menace!!! He is growing into a wonderful man. As we go through the pre-teen years, we struggle with appropriate rules and following them. Of course, he thinks he should be allowed all the freedoms he wants. While we believe there are still many limitations. But, he is a good kid. He has a heart of gold. I wouldn't trade him for the world.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy! You are my heart!

One year ago today........

One year ago today, we took our sweet princess home from a week long stay in the hospital. Katie has come a long way in the last year.

It was a Sunday night, my Mom had the kids. She called me and said Katie's fever was 106, what should she do? I said "no way, take it again." Sure enough, 106. I met her at the ER of Children's Hospital. This would be the beginning of a week long stay. Katie was immediately stripped and cool rags were placed all over her body. She had her choice of Popsicles too. Of course, she was miserable and wanted no part in any of it. Her fever finally decreased. Her white blood cell count came back super high! They said she had a bad ear infection, the worst she has ever had. Just a month earlier she had her tonsils and adenoids out and tubes put in. This was supposed to help her not get ear infections. Yet, here we were with the worst ear infections she had ever had. Katie was admitted overnight for observation.

The next day, we went home with instructions to come back if her fever started to rise again. We managed to sleep in our own beds that night. The next day, the fever was back. After calling the hospital, we made another trip to the ER. The were concerned she might have meningitis. So a CT scan was done to check for brain abscesses before the spinal tap. A severe sinus infection was discovered on the CT scan. Her brain was fine, so they did a spinal tap and admitted her for the night. The next day (Wednesday) the spinal tap came back normal. I remember being really relieved, Katie's spinal fluid was perfect. But, what was wrong with my baby girl?

Finally on Thursday, we got a doctor who just started running tests. Katie could no longer leave her room because of some of the tests they were running. She was very disappointed to not be able to go to the playroom anymore. Turns out Katie had mono on top of the ear infections and sinus infection. To this day, I believe she got the mono during her surgery. We finally got to go home on Friday with instructions to follow up with the pediatrician.

When we followed up with Dr. B, Katie was referred to an allergist. The surgeries were supposed to help her not get sick so often. Obviously, we were missing something. The allergist, Dr. M, started us on the path to Cystic Fibrosis. Several tests, medications, and treatment plans later and Katie is doing great today!

I am so very grateful that Katie does not have full blown Cystic Fibrosis. It is a very hard genetic disease. Katie now takes 8 - 12 prescriptions a day, but is doing wonderfully! She has finally lost the dark circles under her eyes and is finally gaining weight :) While this will be a lifelong journey for Katie, I feel we have passed a milestone being a year out from her hospitalization.

On another note, Andy has 2 weeks left of his restrictions from his broken arm. He cannot wait to be able to jump on the trampoline and play football again! Just in time for his birthday :)

At karate this week, everyone has been attempting to break boards. After 3 days of trying, Andy broke his yesterday. Yay! Katie is still trying, but we are very proud of her for trying her best! It took me about 6 attempts and a really sore hand, but I broke through my board last night too. Yay!

This weekend Jay had a baseball tournament. But the kids and I don't have much planned. I think we will be lazy and enjoy the beautiful weather.

Oh, and we got a new SUV last weekend! My old one was on its last legs. It was about to start costing us a lot of money! So, we got a newer model. I love it! The kids love it!

Have a wonderful weekend!!!!!

Can I have my hour back?

Boy was it a busy weekend! I like to spend at least half of one day lounging around catching up tv shows or watching a movie or something. That didn't happen this past weekend!

Katie had an ENT appointment last Thursday. It went well. Her right tube has fallen out, but the left tube in still in place. So, now we count the ear infections she has over the next six months. If they become numerous, the tubes will be placed in her ears again. We are hoping that this does not happen and that the treatment plan the Cystic Fibrosis clinic has her on will continue to keep the mucus and infections at bay! Sinus surgery was mentioned again. Not as something that needs to be done now, but something that also needs to be considered as we monitor and count infections. Personally, I would prefer to not start Katie on the lifelong process of sinus surgeries. She is only 5. But, again we are hoping her current treatment plan prevents this from occuring.

Friday we had dinner at my Sister In Laws house. It was the first time I have been around smokers since I quit on January 3rd. All the smoke gave me a headache! How on earth did I breathe in a room full of smoke when I was a smoker?!?!?!?!?! There were a few moments where I thought about smoking a cigarette. Two things stopped me: 1 - It didn't sound as appealing as it used to. 2 - I have worked WAAAAAY too hard to mess it up now! The first month was so so hard, I don't want to go through that again! (and I don't think my family wants to go through it again either! Haha!) I guess I am going to become one of those reformed smokers who complains about smoking. Haha! It was amazing to me how much it choked up my airways. I actually had to step out of the garage a few times just so i could breathe. When I was smoking, I was right in the middle of all that smoking one cigarette after another. It looks so different being on the other side! I am proud of myself for not smoking. And I am excited that it no longer appeals to me like it used too. It is still hard, but getting easier :)

Saturday after Katie's tball practice, we spent the day car shopping. I have had my Explorer for 8 years! That car holds a lot of memories. I got married in that car. We brought Katie home in that car. And those are just two of the big memories! But as my sister pointed out, I will still have the memories even if I don't have the car. It was a long day, but at the end of the day we were signing paperwork for a newer Explorer. (I love Explorers!) Jason is picking it up tonight. I am excited! It has the tow package, so we can all go to the lake in one car this year :) And it has the third row seat so we can also fit 2 more people in our car. This will come in handy as we start toting around the kiddos friends. It is also 4X4. That doesn't mean a whole lot to me, but Jason was excited about it. So, out with the old and in with the new :)

Sunday we went to Mom and Dad's to celebrate Dad's 65th birthday. Dad got a smoker for Christmas. I think we are going to have to add that to our Christmas list. Lunch was delicious!!! After lunch, the kids rode the 4 wheelers for a while. Then it was off to Academy to get Katie ready for tball.

We were so busy this weekend, I didn't have a chance to sit down and relax. Not to mention do the household chores we needed to do!

This week is Spring Break. The kids are going to camp at Premier Martial Arts this week. Katie was super excited :) The nice thing for me is that the kids will get their classes during the day so I can go home after work. And I don't have to go back till it's time for my class to start. Maybe I will get to relax for an hour or two after work today........

Today is the day!

Andy gets his cast off today. He is so excited! It's funny.....at first, he was so excited and proud to get a cast. He couldn't wait to show it off! Five weeks later, he can't wait to get it off. His activity restrictions are still in place, and he will have some rehab over the next 4 weeks. But, he will finally be able to take a regular shower again :) Yay!

Poor Katie is still miserable. When we were at the doctor on Thursday, she had fluid in her ear. Dr. B thought she was on the tail end of the ear infection. Turns out, she was on the front end. She woke up during the wee hours of Sunday morning in tears because her ear hurt so bad. I turned on the heating pad and gave her some children's pain medicene. That afternoon, I filled the antibiotics that were on hold for her ear infection. Hopefully, they pain will lesson soon! She is also still miserable from the two flu's she has. I feel so bad for her, I wish I could make it better!

I went to a Scentsy party over the weekend. I think I am about to be addicted! I ordered two plug ins and one full size warmer. I can't wait to get them!!!! My house is going to smell yummy :) The party was a blast too. It was great spending time with some of my favorite ladies.

As of today, I have been smoke free for 9 weeks. I still think about smoking occasionally. It has gotten so much easier to not smoke though :) I was in Blockbuster on Saturday and this couple came in, they were smokers. I gagged on the smell! The sad thing is that I used to smell like that! I am sorry to all the people who had to smell me! LOL!

Well, it's just about time to take Andy to the doctor to get that cast off. Have a great Monday!

A little bit of normalcy

On Wednesday evening, Katie's temperature spiked to 102. Since the weekend was coming and she was getting a little worse everyday, I took her to the doctor. Her pediatrican and I discussed the treatment plan the CF Clinic put Katie on for the CRMS. Then Dr. B checked her out. Her ear was full of fluid, but her lungs were clear. Dr. B decided to run a couple more tests. Turns out Katie has Flu A, Flu B, and an ear infection.



The funny thing is, we were actually happy that it is the flu. Katie's treatment plan is working!!! She isn't getting the sinus infections and pneumonia she was frequently getting prior to the most recent treatment plan. One of Katie's tubes has come out of her ear, this is the one that is infected :( But, it is great that Katie has a bit of normal in her life. This illness is not a result of her CRMS!!!!!



Katie has also gained 6 pounds in the last 4 months. This is fantastic!!! She was stuck at 40 pounds for the longest time and is now at 46 :) She also looks so much better! Dr. B was so excited about how great Katie looked (and this is with having 2 flu's). It's fantastic that she looks so much better now being sick that she did before! We are so happy to see the constant circles gone from under her eyes and some color back in her face.

As for the flu's, she is up and down. One minute she is up playing with her toys or coloring and the next she is laying on the couch watching tv. Right now we are watching Bambi :)

Katie has a little bit of normal back in her life :) And we are thankful for it!



Andy is counting down the days until his cast comes off. 4 more days!!! He can't wait. I don't think he completely understands that he will still have the same restrictions as he did with the cast on. But, he will be able to take a regular shower again!!!! And he will be able to bend his wrist......I am afraid this is going to hurt. It has been in the same posistion for 5 weeks! But, I am happy for him that he will be getting it off. 4 more weeks of restrictions and he will be good to go right before his 12th birthday.

What is Family?

A friend of mine recently asked the question: What is family? My answer to her was "a group of people held together by bonds of love and affection." However, I think there are many answers to this question.

There is the obvious, the family you were born into. There is Mom, Dad, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.... We don't get to choose these people, they have been given to us by God (as stated by another friend of mine).

Then there is the family we build. The spouse we choose and the children we create. Blessings given by God.

Then there are the in laws. The family you marry into, given to us by God as well. There are also the in laws that marry into your family.

I also believe there is the family you create. Your close friends. Those that you have formed "bonds of love and affection" with. That small group of people you trust completely.
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As children growing up, our only thought of family is our Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters. It is what we know. If you are fortunate enough to live close to Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins then they will come to mind too. We rely on these people for everything and trust them implicitly while loving them unconditionally. I remember fighting with my brother all the time when we were kids. And some of our arguments even drew blood! But, no matter what I always trusted my brother. Even when he drew blood, it was accidental. He would never hurt me on purpose. My sister is 8 years younger than me. I remember her following me around and trying to embarrass me with crazy hair, or dressing identical to me. Turns out, we just happen to have a very similar sense of style. But, back then it drove me insane. As we have gotten older, we have gotten closer. 8 years isn't much of a difference anymore. I trust her implicitly, with my life and all of my secrets :) My parents have always been there for me. No matter what, even when they have disagreed with my choices. Unconditional love. The first family God gave to me.

Next comes the family we create for ourselves. The spouse we fall madly, deeply in love with. And the children created from that love. This becomes the first thing you think of when you hear the word family. A family created in love, unconditional love. I was lucky enough to meet my husband 13 years ago. We have been through a lot, and continue to grow closer and closer as the years go on. I can't imagine my world without him in it! We were blessed with two children. Two children whom we adore, and are so grateful to have the privilege of raising.

Of course, with the spouse comes their family. Through the bonds of matrimony, they become our family. My husband has a large family, a family that is very close. Growing up, I didn't have any cousins around to play with. We lived in Texas, and most of my cousins lived in Arizona. (And i have a lot of cousins :) Mom comes from a large family as well.) I remember going to visit a few times, and longing to have them closer by. I haven't seen my cousins in around 15 years. But, thanks to modern technology, I can now talk with them on a daily basis. My children are fortunate enough to have their many Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins from both sides of the family nearby. There are always ups and downs with a large family. But, I consider us blessed to have so many people in our lives that care about us and love us unconditionally.

Then there is the family we create, and there may be more than one. I am fortunate enough to have a couple of wonderful ladies that I consider my family. Friends who know all there is to know about me, the good and the bad. Friends I trust implicitly. Friends who I may not see or talk to everyday, but are always there for me. These ladies are my family "through bonds of love and affection."

There is also the family created around a common interest. I have my dojo family. These are the friends I have met through taking Martial Arts classes. These are the friends who encourage one another every step of the way, who never judge, and care about each other as individuals as well as classmates. I am still getting to know many of the people at the dojo, but I love every one of them. I went into my very first class feeling awkward and embarrassed. I left that very same class feeling encouraged and supported. And continue to feel that way today.

(If you are ever interested in Martial Arts classes in the Frisco area, I highly recommend Premier Martial Arts - Frisco/Little Elm)

There are many definitions to the word family. We can't always choose them, we don't always get along with them, but they are always around. I do believe that in order to be family, there has to be a mutual "bond of love and affection." There are many forms of love. The love I have for my sister is different from the love I have for my husband which is different from the love I have for my friends.

I consider myself extremely blessed. I hope you do too!

Quitting

Quit:

–verb (used with object)

1. to stop, cease, or discontinue

2. to depart from; leave (a place or person)

3. to give up or resign; let go; relinquish

4. to release one's hold of (something grasped).

5. to acquit or conduct (oneself).

6. to free or rid (oneself): to quit oneself of doubts.

7. to clear (a debt); repay.

(from Dictionary.com)

As children, our parents teach us not to quit. Quitters never win, winners never quit. As parents, we pass this down to our children.

On January 3, 2011 I quit. I am a quitter. And I am very proud to say that.

For almost 20 years, I was a smoker. It started out in my early teens with a cigarette here and there. But, it didn't take long for it to become a pack a day habit. I enjoyed smoking. Stuck in traffic, smoke a cigarette. Frustrated at work, smoke a cigarette. I would sit around in the garage talking with my friends and smoke one after another. At other times, I would sit in the garage with a good book. It was peaceful and quiet in the garage. I would lose track of time and the number of cigarettes I had smoked.

If I went too long between cigarettes I was grumpy. I needed a cigarette. I could associate smoking with every emotion. Angry, smoke a cigarette to calm down. Sad, smoke a cigarette to feel better. Happy, smoke a cigarette to celebrate. And on and on it went. I was a slave to smoking.

In April of 2010, I began taking Martial Arts classes at the studio my children attend. I went from the couch to the dojo. The first few classes were brutal. Did I mention that I have asthma? An asthmatic smoker, running laps and doing jumping jacks. It was not a pretty sight! I couldn't breathe, I didn't think I could make it. I stuck with those classes. I was taught how to breathe properly and how to put my hands above my head to try and help open up my lungs. It was still torture! As the months went by, the instructors constantly told me I needed to quit smoking. They were very encouraging, and firm.

Throughout 2010, my daughter was sick. It started out as constant ear infections/sinus infections. She had her adenoids and tonsils taken out and the infections continued. You can read previous posts to learn about all the testing that she went through. Throughout all this, I learned about a disease called cystic fibrosis. When she was sent for her first test, I didn't even know what it was. I have learned a lot this year. Katie does not have cystic fibrosis. She has a milder syndrome based on the disease. But, as I was learning about this disease I learned that there are people in this world who pray for healthy lungs to be transplanted into their bodies. And here I have a perfectly good set of lungs that I was destroying, and enjoying it. And then I began to think about what I was doing to my daughter's health. I always went outside to smoke, but it still lingered on my clothes when I went in. Was this causing her harm? Yes. Then she started to mimic me. She would put a pencil to her lips and pretend it was a cigarette. It broke my heart.

At the end of 2010, I got sick. No big deal. I got bronchitis and/or pneumonia every year. I accepted it as something that just happened. This year, I decided to ditch CareNow and find a family care doctor. I did, and was told my lungs were not in good shape. I was wheezing. After several rounds of meds, I was still wheezing. It was time to quit. I had tried to quit smoking several times over that last few years. I tried the patch and the gum. But, I never succeeded. I don't think I was ready. I enjoyed smoking.

I asked for Chantix. The quit smoking drug. I was wary, there were several negative side effects. But, in my mind, this was my last resort. Or maybe I was finally ready. Maybe I didn't enjoy smoking anymore. I was at a point in my life when I was thinking about how I want to be around when my children grow up and have families of their own. I was thinking about the example i was setting for my children. I was thinking about the damage I was doing to their health. I was really thinking about all the things we are taught about smoking. As a smoker, I ignored those things. They weren't going to happen to me. When I was in my early 20's I had a doctor tell me that there were two types of people in this world. People with the lungs to smoke, and people without the lungs to smoke. I didn't have the lungs to smoke. I was damaging my lungs. The doctor told me I would be dead by 40 if I didn't quit smoking. I blew her off. But, the closer I get to 40, the more I think about her words. I just hope it's not too late.

I was successful with the Chantix. I haven't had a cigarette in 2 months. I consider myself a non-smoker. I smell better. I no longer spend half of my evening in the garage, I spend it with my family. My lungs and body are healing. I still take Martial Arts classes and they are getting better. I got my Gold belt last month :) It's a slow process, I have 20 years of damage to repair.

I didn't do this by myself. It took a village. I couldn't ask for a better support network. Thank you to all my friends (old and new) who have been there in the last two months, and who have shared encouraging words. It made a difference in my life.